Apple Employee Found Dead on Apple Campus. Siri Brought in for Questioning
An Apple employee at the Cupertino, CA campus was found dead in a conference room yesterday. Investigators questioned employees who all gave possible reasons why the male employee might have died. One employee, who remained anonymous, stated that "sometimes our conference calls go on and on and on. Seriously. I almost died the other day in a product meeting. People start saying the same stuff after like an hour. It's torture." Another anonymous employee said "our stock pric
Cruz and Kasich Decide to Hold Hands and Drive Off Cliff Thelma & Louise Style in a 2004 Chrysle
All news outlets reported today that republican presidential hopefuls Sen. Ted Cruz and Ohio Gov. John Kasich have joined forces and have agreed to drive off a cliff together in a 2004 Chrysler Sebring kind of like in the movie Thelma & Louise. In an announcement that shocked mostly everyone but also no one, the two rivals decided that this was the only way to stop republican front runner Donald Trump. Cruz said " I mean what have I got to lose? I am hoping this gives us a ch
